Nick Jonas and the Administration

It is no secret, Elizabeth LOVES Nick Jonas. And it is no secret I LOVE L.A. and the Jonas Brothers. So when Nick ventured out on his solo tour, Liz and I waited for him to come to Vegas. He didn't. About November, Liz was talking about what she wanted for Christmas and she wasn't really asking for anything special. Liz is an amazing young woman, aside from a little attitude here and there. She is a great kid. I wanted to do something special. When I got the text that more L.A. dates had been added, I swung into action. For Chirstmas, mom and KC, Lane and I gave Elizabeth a trip to LA to see Nick Jonas and the Administration. This was no small feet. Many hoops had to be jumped through and stars had to align just right for this to happen.
I will never forget Christmas Morning. I made Elizabeth a little story book put into a photo album. It told her story. At the end, where the tickets. She cried. It was amazing. And we were excited.
So January 27th, My mom, Liz and I set out on our first Road Trip. This was the first time I had EVER driven out of town on my own. (sad i know.) Since our car had been totalled earlier in the month, we had a beautiful rental car and we were off. Our plan was to head down, stay on base in Malibu, go to the show and hang out Wednesday and head back home. Everything was planned, tickets printed, room booked... we were set... Well. We made it to Malibu and found that we could not stay on base because Liz and I don't have Military ID... We do it all the time in San Diego and Coronado. So we were hotel-less... So we headed back into LA. We decided to hit Starbucks for a pick me up and wi fi to book our hotel room. While we stopped, I decided to have Lizzie grabbed the tickets to see what time the show started. The show started the night before. Yep, that's right, no room and our tickets were for last nights show and we are in Malibu, not LA and it is like 3:30 pm. At that point, it was pointless to book the room because if we weren't going to the show, I was headed home... In California, you can't talk on the phone and drive so Liz had to call her Grandfather for me. I told her, "without crying, I need you to call Grandpa and have check to see if there are still tickets available and book our room." That's right, I had a back up room already picked out. Tickets were still available so we high tailed it to Hollywood from Malibu in the starting of rush hour traffic to see if we could get seats. I made it, there were people already lined up to get into the show. I walked up to the ticket booth and asked for any seats, just 2, they didn't even have to be together. The response was, "Ah, honey, don't worry, I'm totally going to take care of you." At that point, I went into my story, we're from Vegas, tickets were for last night, hotel didn't work out...blah.blah.blah. Again he repeated, "Don't worry sweetie, I am totally hooking you up." (I love LA and "LA men" if you know what I mean.) I never even looked at the tickets, I gave him half the price I spent on the tickets when I originally bought them, thanked him profusely and went back to the car. Let Liz know we got our tickets and we went to our hotel just a block away to get ready.
Our room was great, just a block from the Wiltern, had a great pizza joint accross the street and everything was good. We walked to the show, got our t shirt, and I found an usher to ask for directions. I explained I was pretty sure our seats were in the balcony area and asked for directions to get up there. She giggled and said, "let me show you to your seats." Our seats were 5 rows from the stage. I would definatly say that guy hooked me up. I noticed on the seats they were the "House Comps" so the guy pocketed the money for the seats but who cares...
Liz was totally able to make eye contact with Nick Jonas. It was so Wonderful... We had so much fun... The night could not have been better.

Concerts with Liz

I spent the summer of 09 going to concerts with Lizzie. I love her music as much as she does. Sometimes I think I like the Jonas Brothers more. I have listened to them longer. But the summer started out with Demi Lovato and David Archuleta. It was awesome. We had amazing floor seats. Lizzie sang her heart out. She loves Demi, and Demi can sing... She did a rendition of "Natural Woman" that was phenomial.
In August we went to the concert I was looking forward to, JONAS BROTHERS. This one was also AMAZING. We stood in line forever to get in, but they are totally worth it. Liz and I had so much fun, singing and dancing...

what a year.

So it has been almost a full year since my last post. I can honestly say last summer was one of the hardest and emotionally challanging in my life. It was about this time last year, I got a phone call that would change my family forever. The path to forgiveness was shown. I am happy to say all is well with that situation. In fact better than ever expected. I could never have gotten through it with out my wonderful Visiting Teacher, Val. I didn't understand why she had been chosen for me, but after one afternoon it was all clear. So slowly I will start updating the blog. I have had a wonderful year...lots to talk about.

Forgiveness

At what point should a person decide to let go. It is not a secret I have had an extremely difficult year. From family issues to fighting the schools for Owen. I am severely struggling physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. For the most part, I keep it in. That is the way I have dealt with my emotions throughout my life. Hold them in until something sets me off and then lose it. I have been able to not lose it more and more, but the toll it is taking on me I am afraid may be irreversible.
A couple of years ago, I was in a confrontation with someone and words were spoken that have devastated me. Although I apologized for my wrong doing in the situation sincerely, the statements that were made to me have haunted me and I am still plagued with the feelings of unkindness and hatred every time I must see the person who spoke them. I should let go, but I can’t or maybe it is I won’t. These were some of the most unkind, hateful words ever to be spoken to me and no responsibility of wrong doing has ever come of the altercation other than from me. This situation still adds stress to my life and marriage often. Again, this was years ago and I still have the horrible feelings that I cannot leave behind me.
More recently, I have had to and am still dealing with struggles with my own parents. After decades of dealing with the same problems over and over only escalated grander, when is enough enough to walk away and not look back? I wonder each day how my life would be if I did just that. To what extent would my life have to change for me to be able to make the commitment to let go. How would my life better by doing just that? If I do walk away and the terrible inevitable fates are met, how much of that is my responsibility? Can I make a difference? After 30 years, I have not been able to is something in the future or the present going to change to where I can make the difference and make it all better? Or do I focus on my husband, my children and forget about the rest.
It is time for me to move on, to be the bigger person so to speak. I know that forgiveness is the key to salvation yet it is at times to hard to give. Is forgiveness really needed when the person you are forgiving still does not feel they have trespassed?

So something has happened. I am not really sure when but it has been pretty recent. Lizzie has turned into a very responsible young lady. A few weeks ago when Lane and I went to California, Elizabeth totally step up and helped with the boys. And she did so without attitude. And even more, she has started watching them here and there when I am working. I have to laugh because she is amazing with Owen and Camden. She totally entertains them, makes them lunch, everything. Today she even did laundry.
I have known I have a good girl, but I am so pleased to see her turning into such a wonderful young lady. (Beautiful too.)

Fathers Day 2009

Just a preface: this might not be the normal upbeat, rah rah post I usually write.
So for Father's Day, I decided I would make Lane breakfast in bed. He has been on vacation this week, so I wasn't able to really have anything major done or planned for him. It was simple but yummy. Waffles with blackberry jam, homemade whipped cream and fresh blackberries and a bacon and cheese omelet. It was great to watch Camden who had to have his waffle exactly like Daddy's. It was the beginning of a wonderful day. That is when I did it, I ruined my day that could have been so wonderful.
I have been debating what to do about my family situation for a while. I bought my father a card and was planning on making a cute little cupcake with grass and a lawn mower on it to take to him after church. Expectation way too high !!! I called him about 9 am thinking I would be able to catch him before he and his family went out...The phone was answered by my cheerful step mother who was as always very polite. But much to both of our shock, my father was not up to talking on the phone. What a joke. Really, a simple "happy fathers day. how's it going" was all I had planned. Especially after the last time I talked to him.
I just don't get it. Any of it. I don't understand how a father can treat his children and grandchildren this way. And I don't understand why I continue to let us be treated like this in the hopes that one day he will open his eyes and see what he is missing out on. Or maybe I should just understand this is the life I was given and I can't change it, I just have to focus on the positive I have in my life like my husband. Knowing how screwed up my childhood was, I am thankful everyday for the wonderful husband I have. He is honestly the most amazing husband and father I know. I know I have defied all odds to have the relationship I have with him and I shouldn't let the other bother me. But it still hurts, even after 29+ years.

Together again

I am still amazed at the idea that I love to spend time with my husband. We have been married for 13 years and I will still jump at any chance I have to spend time alone together. Tuesday afternoon I got a phone call from him saying he needed to go on a business trip to California leaving Wednesday afternoon. Immediately I swang into action. Got the ride home from school for Elizabeth, mom to come and stay with the kids and backup plans for all of it.
He still has to work, but it is so nice to just be in the car talking to him about everything and nothing. And this trip, boy were we in the car. Yet I loved every minute of it. It's pathetic, I know, but I am still completely in love.

BTW - if you are ever near Encintas, CA and in need of a GREAT burger, go to Angelo's it's on Pacific Coast Highway and it is AMAZING...Best fries around.