Wait, what's that sound?

Something very strange is happening in my house right now. The kids (all 4)are playing a board game. I told them the TV was not to be turned on until after the family room and kitchen were cleaned and it is still not on. Hayden has found my Jack Johnson CD and is in love with the mellow vibe from it. So he turned it on while they were cleaning and immediately the fighting stopped. And now they are playing High School Musical Mystery Date. Laughing and acting how children should. Music to my ears. Both Jack and the kids.

Hayden's Heart is Working

Today was Hayden's Cardiologist appointment. A couple of months ago, he got a really bad virus. We took him into the pediatrician and she heard a murmur. With the history of my family and heart problems I can say I was terrified. So, we went to Dr. Mayman's office. I was expecting this office jam packed with noisy people, snotty office staff, and a long wait. WOW was I WRONG !!! The office only had us in it, the staff was super sweet, and we were in and out in a half hour. He had an ultrasound and EKG and they were normal. He has an innocent murmur which is what we were hoping for. I mean if he has to have a heart murmur why not make it the simplest kind. This murmur only manifests itself when he is sick or run down. Other than that he is a REALLY HEALTHY kid.
Hayden is one of the sweetest children alive. He is the child that can meet you for the first time and with in minutes know your name, birthday and all your favorites. And remember everyone of them even if he doesn't see you for a year. Hayden was extremely nervous about going. I am a parent who believes in telling the child what is going on and what to expect. But he was still terrified. After the EKG, we went into the ultrasound room and the doctor came in. Hayden had big crocodile tears. The dr looked at him and said, "Are you scared? If your scared then I'm scared." He was wonderful. He explained everything to us and answered all of Hayden's questions. Dr. Mayman even took the time to explain to me what was wrong with my cousins little boy Carter. (I had never really understood it.) He was so amazing. So if any one needs a Pediatric Cardiologist, Dr. Mayman is the MAN !!!

Owen's Big Day

Today was a big day for Owen, and for Lane and me. Owen gave a talk in Primary today. At the beginning of the year, we asked that Owen not be asked to speak, or give scriptures in Primary. We did not feel he needed to be subjected to any ridicule that might come from it. Let’s face it, even kids at Church can be mean. But my requests were ignored. So the postcard came in the mail a couple of weeks ago with Owen’s name and the talk circled and my heart sank. I talked to Lane and prayed about it and we decided to let him try. Most kids get so nervous they don’t give their own talks anyway, so I figured what the heck, let’s go for it. I searched for something he could do. Our theme this month is Missionary Work. As I looked through “The Friend” there was a cute little activity with the song “I Hope They Call Me on a Mission.” My prayers were answered. It was perfect. We practiced and practiced. And he stood up there like the Champion he is and gave that talk. What a difference has come to him since working with Mrs. Kelly. Our Primary President was so impressed, the progress that has been made in the past few months in remarkable. All I wanted to do was cry I was so over joyed. It was so beautiful to hear. Yes, he had to have me model the words but you could understand what he said. That gives me such hope.
About a year ago, I longed to hear I love you from him. He learned the sign and one night as he went to be he turned around and yelled at Lane and me and flashed the sign that meant so much but I still wanted to hear the words from my sweet little boy. Three months ago I still longed to hear that sweet sentence from him. About a month ago, I was blessed to hear it for the first time. The words “Mom I love you” never sounded so beautiful. (Now he uses it to try to get out of trouble. But I am happy he does.) And now he stood in front of the whole Primary and spoke. Such amazing progress, such exciting new experiences are just waiting for him. All we have to do is work.

Not a Single Mother

My hat goes off to all of the women (and men) who are single parents. Lane has been gone for two weeks and I am SSOOO ready for him to be home. I have dealt with all of the ups and downs of the home front. The past two weeks have been an emotional roller coaster ride for our family and we have been apart to deal with it. I know I am the lucky one I get to hear the laughter and the kindness of the kids. Lane is alone in the hotel listening to the quiet and watching what he wants on the television. I know he would rather be home fighting the kids to go bed but at this time I would love to be the one at the Hilton relaxing watching Miss Congeniality on Lifetime. As you can see I have given up the fight for a few minutes of peace at the computer as Camden and Owen wrestle in my bedroom. I have tried everything short of tying them up to get them to stop. (I was told that was against the law, jk) Nights like this make me realize just how lucky I am to have the husband I do. He is not perfect, but I love him and miss him !!! Now back to the bedtime fight... Wish me luck.

Apraxia on Inside Edition - 2000

Perception VS Reality

Is what other people perceive of me actually who I am? After reading a new friend’s blog last week I started to think of how I perceive myself and if that is how others see me. Different people see me differently. My friends at school see me as the crazy mom of 4 who wants to be involved with everything, a woman who has an opinion on everything, someone who wants the best for everyone. (Especially my own children) Although most of them never see the frantic worried side of me, this is how I perceive myself also. My reality is I love being a mother and a wife. I love spending time at my children’s school and being involved with everything there. I love running from place to place with my kids. I love being the taxi. I love making dinner and having it on the table when Lane comes home. I love my house being clean even though it may be messy. I am not perfect, nor do I profess to be, but I try hard to make my family the best it can be. I think my friends see this side of me and this is my reality.
Yet I am troubled by the others in my life who really don’t have a clue as to what is happening in my family or in my life. But those people are the there in the front row passing judgment on me and about me. As I write this I now understand these people are not my friends and they truly don’t know me. As my new friend put it they are the “toxic people” in my life. I continue to worry what these people think of me and my children. I am consumed by the judgments they are passing on my family and myself when they do not know why decisions are being made as they are. They are the people who so quickly question why I may do something but don’t know the circumstance surrounding the decision nor do they care enough about me to what to understand either.
So why do I allow them to alter my reality? How do you become strong enough to just walk away from them? Do you tell them or just drift away? These are the questions I have been pondering.

New CCSD Employee

It is official. I have been approved by CCSD and am a substitute. I have heard the horror stories of the process from friends that are subs but I can now testify how ridiculous it really was. When all was said and done I think I had seven different references sent to them. According to the last person I spoke with who was so wonderful, I had more than ample and "good" references to complete my file. I am so excited. I will start the next school year filling in for a good friend of mine while she bonds with her new bundle of joy. YEAH !!

Not much happening

We have had a pretty boring few days. I think I kind of "checked out" last week. We ALL needed a break from the hectic go here, go there of our lives, so we took it. We did have a great time at the First Annual Barlow Family Olympics. Even though we were late. We were trying to get Lane ready for his trip. He is once again on the road for work. And so far no I have not run over any birds. (or anything else for that matter.) Fourth of July was a blast. The kids had a wonderful time swimming and hanging out with cousins. And of course had a wonderful time setting off the fireworks with Uncle Brandon. If you want to see pictures check out Sarah's Blog...http://sarahbarlow.blogspot.com/. There are a couple of cute pictures of the kids. And a couple not so cute pictures of me. (This is why I don't do swimsuits at this point.)
Saturday we took Lane to the airport bright and early. Then we just hung out. I cleaned... Which is what I will be doing again in a few minutes. Yesterday I actually braved Church with all four children by myself. I am very Happy to say we made it to ALL of it. I feel the need to apologize to the Berrett Family who we sat in front of. Camden had to narrate everything he did all through Sacrament. I am sorry to say I still find him funny. I was shocked actually at how well behaved the kids were. Last night we just vegged out and watch the new Hannah Montana and Wizards of Waverly Place. It was wonderful to have a nice quiet evening just us. Well that is what we have done for the past week. We start once again with the crazy life tomorrow. So I am sure something exciting will happen to tell you all. Until then, Take Care.
Amy