Retrospection

Those who know me well, know I had a pretty messed up childhood. My brother, sister and I were extremely close while growing up and are lucky enough to have continued to have a great relationship to this day. I hope my children will have the same bond that the three of us have... Only I don't want them to have to (nor do I think they will) bond under the same circumstances.
Just recently, I had really thought I had come to grips with my childhood. I understand a little more about myself and why I have some of the feelings I do. As well I understand why I acted in ways that I did. Tonight I found myself back feeling as if I were the six year old who couldn't fix it all. The feelings of helplessness and desperation are so overwhelming and hurtful. I don't know if I am as over my childhood as I thought I was. I do know that tonight made me want to be the best mother and wife I can be so my children will never have to feel the pain I do.